Heart Update from Jenn – 10.12.11

Dear friends and partners,

I asked Jenn to write an update for you. What she has written has humbled me. In honor of her, her heart and commitment, in honor of her as a daughter, we have posted this update from her. You will see through her writing what a Joyful Jewel she is to us.

Love and Blessings,

Tracee Anne aka Mama Tracee or Mama T (my favorite title!)

From Jenn’s Heart:

To the ones who have been there from the beginning and the ones who have joined and stuck out the journey,

I sit here writing this on the back porch of my mom’s house in Central New York. It is warm today and I am blessed with a symphony of God’s creation; a babbling brook, chirping birds, the occasional whisper of the wind through the trees and the song of passing cars on the country road nearby. It is a peaceful setting as I thank God for this season, whatever it may look like and especially for the last season, of which I am overwhelmingly grateful for. I ponder the goodness of God through it all and recollect how he answered the cry of my heart almost three years ago and brought me into a season that would impact my life and the beginning of my legacy in an amazing way.

For those who do not know, I felt the Lord call me home to my family in New York in June. It wasn’t clear how long this season would last or what the Lord was going to do in that time. After receiving several confirmations that this was the Lord, it was only weeks before I was making the move out of Utah and back to New York. Before I left Utah, I sat with the Lord, asking Him about the season. I journalled this at that time:

Though I can’t see past that veil that is tomorrow, I’ll continue towards it, because Hope has promised me that it lives there. Wisdom is causing my slow steps to keep on toward the voice I’m sure I heard beckoning me to come. Up above is the only direction without fog, and I trust that moving forward is safest with my gaze lifted there. And like a slingshot I’m pulled back into lands once travelled and almost forgot, to a great reconciliation that’s holding a match to strike the launch into abiding acceleration.

For whatever this season was to be, it has been a time of great reconciliation: reconciliation with my family, with my identity, with my past and with dreams that have been lying dormant for some time.

I hope one day to become much; to give much, to be much, to love much, to impact much. Because I have received much and been loved much and have been impacted much. And I have you all to thank for that. Many have supported with prayers, kind words and at times finances to enable me the opportunities to travel with Tracee. Those times have been beautiful and precious to me, and I only hope they have been as much to Tracee.

What many of you did not know is that Tracee was an answered prayer for me. I had experienced some heartache after a broken relationship with someone who had committed to mentor and take me in as a spiritual daughter and I still longed for such a relationship. I guess I should not have been surprised when what we thought would be two months turned into over two and half years, the beginning of a lifetime long relationship.

In the past few years with Tracee and her husband Randy and their family, I have experienced what it means to really be adopted. I have my own family, whom I love very much and am very close to, but there is something different about what you experience in family you have no natural relations to. I have learned what it means to be a daughter of the kingdom because of those who treated me like their daughter. And I have learned what it looked like for a spiritual mother and father to stand by someone they had no obligation to do so with. I have gained a mother and a father and two sisters through this experience- I would not trade them for the world.

As a daughter, I want to take a moment to brag on my mama, because I love her dearly and as one of the people who I believe knows her the best, I have a unique advantage. And who she is and how she has walked through the joys and the hardships of life has become a foundation and a standard established as her legacy, even as she remains in the land of the living, and so an inheritance to me and those who call her mama… a standard I pray I grow into sooner rather than later. So I want to share with you what you have given me through the unique expression of your support through the last season.

She is courageous and tenacious, never intimidated, but careful not to tread where she has no permission to go. She is focused, and is sometimes misunderstood when she is reluctant to give in to distraction. She is stationed permanently at the feet of the bridegroom, worshipping lavishly and being extravagantly loved on herself. She is not perfect. Some of my favorite moments with her have been the times when I have been blessed to see the way she handles her mistakes. She is humble and easily and happily disciplined by the Lord. She takes heed of people’s words, of their corrections and their praises, but always brings them straight to the mercy seat where she and the Lord separate the dross from the treasures. She is quick to repent and quick to receive forgiveness. She is kind, but does not play games- she will tell you how it is, sometimes more lovingly and gently then other times. She is faithful to her friends and the ones she loves. She contends for their best and will not allow them to be caught in the tangles of the enemy while on her watch.

She is an overcomer. It is the very evidence of the faith and hope that make residence in her heart. Every obstacle is an invitation for encounter with the Lord, an opportunity to love deeper and discover him greater. She is as transparent as transparent gets; an open book and a beautiful read. She remains in faith always, even in the most challenging of times. She always believes God and never doubts what He says. She feeds her life lessons to the next generation like bread to the hungry, and shares her journey in a way that sets a foundation for those who are willing to stand on. The outcomes of her mistakes, lessons, trials and victories are a torch passed on to see other’s run their race with a head start. She is trustworthy to people, but even more so to the Lord. He treasures her for this, for she has sacrificed greatly at times to remain so.

She is real. There is no fake bone in her body and man pleasing ways have dissolved into a remnant of radical, God-fearing obedience, established in confidant kingdom identity. She gives of herself, instead of herself, out of herself and sometimes even in spite of herself; but she is always giving. She always follows peace, treasures wisdom and values the Father’s opinion over everything else. She is fully submitted to God and strives to remain pure in her every intention. She understands thankfulness better than anyone I have ever met. She is moved by the fulfillment of every promise and takes no small thing that the Lord has done for granted. She takes every small word, sign and encouragement as a testimony and prophetic reminder of what He is to do, of the promises He is to fulfill. His goodness is always a cause for celebration. She lives from the overflow of the Lord’s heart and it has taught her to love well. Love is her greatest priority and her greatest gift. She is an igniter of hope, a dissolver of hopelessness and disillusionment.

This in no way completely defines her. The Lord continues to define her and refine her and it’s an honor to be part of the journey. My time with Tracee and the unfolding of her story has been an invitation for me into a greater relationship and revelation with the Lord.  When people ask me about my time with Tracee, I suppose they expect to hear some amazing story of how I became a remarkable intercessor as a student of her caliber. Her impact on my life has been because of who she is, not nearly so much as what she has done, or what she continues to do and has vision for, which is indeed of great measure and has had great impact on me.

This season has in a lot of ways been a test of faith for me, as the last season was also in its own way. I continue to trust God and remain in hope which ignites me with excitement. He is setting us up in a big way. There are several projects that have been on Tracee and my hearts for the last couple of years that have not come to pass because of the great deal of responsibility we both carried in the last season. With the most recent shift into this season the Lord has been kind to provide what we needed in order to do what He has called us to do and what we need in order to develop what He has asked us to develop. Please stand with us in prayer as we carry out these standing orders from the Lord. We know there is a greater realm to tap into and there are connections to be made in terms of the bigger picture that we cannot even fathom. It is the time!

Thank you for standing with me, for standing with Tracee and for connecting your hearts to Intrepid Heart. I am excited for what we are soon to release creatively. May it be a blessing to you as you have been so much a part of it!

www.intrepidheart.org

3 comments

  1. Jen – your words are beautiful and completely heartfelt! I echo them, as they speak truth, and the remarkable wonder of Yahweh’s grace and love! Tracee is a wonderful friend and gift from Pappa! Be blessed!

    • Jacki on October 12, 2011 at 6:12 pm
    • Reply

    ***Selah***

  2. Jen..what a beautiful tribute to Tracee. I know her to be just as you described her to be….what a wonderful lady and gift to the body of Christ…

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